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Monday, June 30, 2008 7:30 pm
anything can happen if we take the chance listen, ♥  hand in hand, love is sent. THE ONE MAN SHE LOVES IS THE ONLY MAN SHE CANNOT HAVE. to think i've trusted you so much. the wonders of the world is now where to be found, maybe its hidden in the valley of darkness. be prepared, take the chance and go for it. men just go for novelty. i have no clue what i'm doing either, dun question me. cause it hurts me so just to see you go. you seem to be everything i've ever dreamt of. would it help if i cried my heart out for you? i'll be your bed of roses, i'll be your bundle of joy. only if you allow me to. WE'RE SINGING IN THE RAIN. & to me, you are the world. MARTHA! [:
Saturday, June 28, 2008 8:44 pm
without you i'll be nothing listen, ♥  be my love and not my nothing. dogs seems to irresistably adorable. COOKIE'S THE SEX YAW! :D she's damn cute alright! brought marcus to the vet and bck. okayy, he's done his yearly booster and his monthly check up. yayness to the max. it means we'll nvr go bck until nxt year, or if his condition acts up again. i pray it'll nvr act up ever again. (: he's suck a blessed dog. damn, i wish i was a dog. i'm so tired. i want green tea! )x oh well. lololol. i'm soooo tired. i finally gt to sleep last night. aft a week, i finally slept. hw happy was i? i dun care what they say. if you think my post are sucidal, thn so be it. who asked you to read my post? if you wanna read abt it, thn dun bother going abt asking so much. it doesnt help alright! you're onlu making things worse. and on top of that, you're nt even able to help me. so why bother? its such a waste of time. if you have so much time on hand, please find something to do. stop mendling in my affairs. damn. so much to do, so little time. homeworks untouched. i'm toooo tired and depressed to do anything. i have no inspiration just yet. i feel so miserable. nationals is nxt week. good luck yaw! it means i have to train doubly hard! shagggg to the max luhs. i wish i'll just die. ): have to concentrate on academic aft nationals. so tiring and shagggg luhs! ): its like, i can die luhs! blahhh. life goes on though i very much wanna end it. if only, i could slit deeper inside. laogong, thanks for everything. yes, iloveyou! (: i wun leave you alone. no worrrrries. i'll keep to my promises and if i happened to disappoint you, i'm really sorry. ohh, i just remembered, i have chinese oral nxt week. i think. if you get there before i do, dun give up on me. i'll meet you whn my chores are through, i dunno hw long i'll be. but i'm nt gonna let you down, darling wait and see. and between now and thn, till i see you again i'll be loving you. love me. I CALLED OUT YOU NAME BUT ALL YOU DID WAS WALK AWAY. i finally realise how vulnerable life is. MARTHA! [:
4:16 pm
if i could thn i go would go where ever you will go. listen, ♥  how many tomorrows can you assure me of? finally, WEEKEND! :D i so love weekends please! :DD a well deserved break aft a week of torment. i'm drained. i can feel my heart beating all ovr again. what a week i've had. TIRED TIRED TIRED! nationals nxt week. oh my gwad. -screams- rebecca's coming bck nxt friday. (: total yayness! i think i would have completed my race by then. nt too sure abt it, i'll have to check it out. life's a drag. theres nth to update abt. GOODBYE! limian megabucks ; i love my post this way. haha. its STYLE! [x thanks for tagging! (: IF ONLY I COULD MAKE THINGS RIGHT. broken ; lifeless ; i give up! MARTHA! [:
Wednesday, June 25, 2008 7:41 pm
& you left me just whn i needed you most listen, ♥  what if i told you it was all meant to be? i havent blogged for 4 days and it doesnt really matter anyway. alright, sch has been like crap! i swear, but i have to persevere. trngs are killers, and i super hate my leg. damn you leggy! i feel like chopping you off alright! DAMN YOU! argh! like seriously, i really hate it whn my leg acts up. my timings during trng is like crap and its freaking demoralising luhs! ): i feel like giving up! i feel like ending it here. i feel like putting a stop to all these pain. fark life! i'm really sick and tired of everything by now. give me motivation to carry on, can you? i'm really really tired and i swear i'm running out of sparks. i have no will nor motivation. i'm begining to think i suck at everything, even my forte. ): and that sucks! i feel like a freaking loser, one which is bruised and battered and totally unable to carry on the fight. i really wanna give up. but can i bear to do so? i really wonder at times. life's a drag. why's the end of the world coming so slowly? i wish i would leave the world tonight whn i fall asleep. i really cannot take it any longer. its like a torment and i have no reasons to live on. my passions have died. i'm like a zombie living on earth. i'm disgusted by people. i hate my life. i just feel like dying, can i just end it all? sometimes, i feel that humans are super selfish. it may be for their self interest. even if people refuse, they still insist on doing so. i feel that my standard and command of english is deproving as the days go by. i dun feel like before, i feel like i'm dying but it nvr seems the case. whn can i leave this place of horror? why carnt i leave peacefully? must i slit deeper just to die? sometimes, i really wonder. why do i have a life? i feel so insecure, i feel so hurt just living life. am i insane or what? i really wonder. theres something abt me that i myself cannot identify. what the hell is going on?! i hate life! i feel so surpressed! i feel like a goner. soon to be gone. but it nvr seems the case. its all false hope, and i wish it would be for real some day. ): fark life. i have my reason for doing things. but i really dun have the will and reason to carry on living. i'm too tired to carry on the fight. if i have to go on like this, i'm better off dead. life's a torment. life's a pain. theres so much to say, theres so much i wanna convey, but who'll actually sit down and let me say what i have to? who would give me the time to speak my mind and let me cry it out? no one would. so i'll just have to surpress my feelings and act as though nothing happened. i'm fine on the outside but broken into a million pieces of the inside. why am i still living whn i'm all shattered inside? damn life! damn those selfish fools. i dun wanna live! life seems to meaningless. please give me a reason to live. i carnt fight this battle alone any longer. i wanna surrender. why wun anyone allow me to? i just have to mention death once and people start going "whey! dun like that lehs" but have you thought abt me? if you think surpressing your feelings is good, thn why dun you try it? you dun have anything to worry abt whereas i have everything. i'm nt doing well at all. ): i'm a failure, i'm a loser! i'm everything negative while you're not! its alright if you dun get my point and drift. it doesnt really matter anyway. everyone thinks they knw me well, but even i carnt identify myself most of the time. who are you to say you knw me well? i really dunno. i dunno what you're processing in your head and it doesnt really matter to me. really. i dun care. if i could, thn i would. just let me leave will you? i knw i'll nvr be able to cut deeper thn what i have done. i dun intend to do so either. broken, lifeless, i give up! i dun wanna hold on to too many things and end up losing it all! i dun wanna lose anything that belongs to me! i'm losing control. soon, i'll be losing my mind. i'll be losing myself. i wish i was dead so that i could be happy! would you be my reason to live on? our silent betrayal. you gotta live on strong without me. if i die today, remember me as of yesterday. give me up and find someone new. theres no point in holding on. i dun treasure my life, hold onto yours and live strongly. be it for yourself or for me. i'm sorry, i'll nvr love you like before or ever again. what if i slit deeper, just to leave this world? would you forgive me? i take life too seriously while you take life for granted. how ironic! LOVE IS YOU ALONE. my life with you means everything. MARTHA! [:
Saturday, June 21, 2008 9:10 pm
whn there was me and you listen, ♥  take my hand, nvr let go. okay, i'm super busy alright. here to reply tags. (: sorry its damn late, but its better late thn nvr. (: have to mugg and complete hmwrk! DARWISYAH ; hello there! (: thanks for tagging yo! LUNAR ; hi. (: you are? thanks for the comment. (: LIMIAN ; yo megabucks! thanks for coming yo! lololol. i tagged your board alrdy. (: I LOVE AND MISS REBECCA! COME HOME SOON. ): I SEE YOU LYING NEXT TO ME. with words i thought i'll nvr speak. MARTHA! [:
Wednesday, June 18, 2008 3:39 pm
its time to let go of you listen, ♥  baby you're loved. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY! :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISHA! :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATRINA! :D I CAN GIVE UP MY LIFE JUST TO LOVE YOU. will you still love me, tomorrow? MARTHA! [:
Saturday, June 14, 2008 7:15 pm
i dun need you to love me listen, ♥  i complete myself. hello! i came hm frm cck stadium abt 2hrs ago? lol. yupps. [: had my din din and ate an apple. shiok! but still nt full. bleahs! LOL! [x worms in my stomach! [x [x [x kidding arhs. LOL! the fish soup i ate for lunch was nice, but damn expensive! total rip off! lol. tracy totally agreed! [: lololol. i'm boreddddddd. i'm boredddddddd. i'm boreddddddddd. LOLOLOL! stupid me. CONGRATS RUNNERS! TOTAL LOVES! CONGRATULATIONS TO ; - GUNNY! - LAOGONG! - TRACY! - APHICHA! - CHIN HWEE! - JIANYANG! - MARTIIN! - CLEMENT! the 4x100m team rocks like hell luhs! total love love love! we trashed sports sch! [: [: super proud of team tanglin! who said neighbourhood sch runners carnt run? punishment for your arrogance! BLEAHS! xP i'm hungry! ]: i'm craving oyster omelette, minus the oyster. LOLOLOL! [x must congratulate gunny like hell. must congratulate chin hwee like hell. must congratulate the 4x100m team like hell. i dunno if laogong did well. but congratulations too. LOVE LOVE LOVE! :D clement's first competition. great job boy! you'll continue to do well and shine. [: JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU! [: thanks for coming down to support andy! [: much appreciated! [: [: [: GUNNY IS LOVED! :D :D :D saw this. LOLOL! i super love and miss rebecca! ]: ]: ]: come back soon voda! i miss you like crazy! ]: ]: ]: 20 more days. oh my gwad, sch holidays is ending! ]: -cries- i havent even done my hmwrk. worked out a timetable. must complete hmwrk by nxt week! [: i will stick to my timetable. -shagg- I WILL DO MY BEST FOR NATIONALS! I WLL DO MY BEST FOR O LEVELS! i knw i can do it! [: [: [: anyone who tries to put me down are losers. [: GET A LIFE! i have my own life & i lead it the way i want to. okayys, enyi was super cute today. [: oh my gwad, he's the love luhs. though he's dao like hell. LOL! [x but he's super adorable and i swear he's gonna be super handsome! -melts- i'm sooooo bored, i can just rot and die. i shld have gone to church today. but oh well, will go tmr. let's see who'll go with me. LOL! [x [x [x -hope someone will- tired tired tired. i'm super happy for our runners! [: okayy luhs, enough said. [: BYE! xP INTRODUCING SOMETHING AWESOME! MY FRIEND'S WEBSITE! NICE CLOTHES. [: VISIT IT AND DO SUPPORT HER. [: THANK YOU. http://pennynlane.wordpress.com/ if you are ashame of us, we too are ashame of you. replying taggs ; vivan ; HELLO GIRLFRIEND! [: plan a date. ILOVEYOU! [: [: [: clement ; oh hello! [: how did you get my link? LOL! [: great job yo! [: xueting ; HELLO SWEETIE! [: i love you too. thannks for always being there. TOTAL LOVES! [: GET A LIFE. isnt it enough? MARTHA! [:
Friday, June 13, 2008 5:16 pm
hold me in your embrace listen, ♥  magnify the beauty. i've been THINKING. i'm in a CONFUSE state. i'm LOST. and i dunno what to do. ]: i've ever thought of turning to you. but some things are nt meant for others. i've TRIED, but never succeeded. ]: i need COMFORT. i dun need LOVE! i just need more SUPPORT! can you give it to me? i'm SAD! i'm HURT! i'm DEPRIVED! i'm DEPRESSED! i dunno what to say or do. i knw i'm living in SELF-DENIAL. i know, i know, i know! theres nothing i can do. ]: ]: ]: can i find a way out? i'm TRAPPED! i dunno what to do! i dunno what to do! i feel like dying. i feel like crying. i feel so down. i feel so irritated. i hate life. i hate myself. i hate life. i hate myself. sometimes, i just feel like ending it all. if only i had the COURAGE to cut DEEPER. immoral acts. what can i do about them? i've lost all support. i'm losing control. in it to win it! I'M NO LONGER THERE FOR YOU TO EMBRACE. its your decision, its your choice. MARTHA! [:
Thursday, June 12, 2008 8:12 pm
its probably time for me to let go listen, ♥  can i not love you? -screams- i'm HUNGRY! feed me! i demand! LOL! love rekindled? just plain friendship? dun ask me, i'm confuse myself. nt thinking too much abt it. HOMEWORKS YET TO BE DONE! blahhhhhh, i dunno if i shld go for tmr's trng. its like at mr tham's hse early in the morning. 8am! >_<" and i dunno hw to get there. lmao. [x plus plus plus. erm erm erm. i dunno hw to.. swim. [x oh my gwad luhs, like super paiseh can? it's like i dunno hw to do anything. [x i dunno hw to cycle. i dunno hw to swim. wth, i'm like loser to the max luhs! damn shagg. sch's starting in a weeks time. -screams- like totally! i'm boredddddd! [x lololol, i'm being so irritating. irritating andy nw. [x LOLOLOL! [x i dun understand why people keep track of their no of post. so random luhs. LOL! [x bored bored bored. LOLOLOL! [x GOODBYE YO! i need to hunt for food! [x going out with sunshine tmr! [: [: [: to get his sister a gift. LOLOL! last mintue idiot! [x friday the 13 tmr! [x MY CHOICE TO TAKE A STEP CLOSER TO YOU. as i get closer and closer to you. MARTHA! [:
8:07 pm
you're the meaning in my life. listen, ♥  the arts of making use. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO COME ONLINE! [: [: [: i miss you yo! I JUST DUN LOVE YOU NO MORE. i never gave up on you. MARTHA! [:
4:14 pm
my first step to you listen, ♥  just lose control. addicted to the blogthings. LOL! [x like super!
blahhhhh, boring luhs! thats all. i've spent 1hr+ eating and havent finished. dotts. LOL! [x oh my gwad, jacky, weilun, chin hwee, jiangyang and heekent bully me luhs! ]: lololol. byeeee! no vulgarities jeremy, if you see this. [x I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO. you're all that i've ever wanted. MARTHA! [: |
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